Resistance

I felt a strong resistance as I listened to DJ speak about living in the land of the Gospel, loving and serving sacrificially.  As summer draws nearer and the reality sinks in that I have committed to giving myself away in self-giving-sacrificial-servant love, I feel myself drawing away.  Partially out of fear, partially out of selfishness, partially out of unwillingness to do as I am called.  As I stand here at the Sonshine house, I am flooded with memories of Jesus calling me to live in the Gospel, to rejoice in the sufferings, to recognize and accept the abundant grace the Lord offers time and time again.  But I am also reminded of the exhaustion that comes from my natural tendencies to resist and want things done by my agenda.

Reality is that the so called "land of the gospel" is the same on houseboats as it is in my life at school and home.  Maybe my strong resistance when I hear Darrell talking is indicative of my lack of "living in the land called gospel"-ness in my life at home.  I'm comfortable at home, little suffering, little resistance.  On the water, there is discomfort, there is suffering, there is STRONG resistance.  I want more resistance NOW because I know that it comes with discomfort and Jesus beckoning me to suffer with him.

On a different note, I found it very interesting when DJ mentioned Paul specifically calling out the two men of the church of Philippi who were not living with one mind.  I can easily hear Paul substitute my name in there, I entreat Lara to agree in the Lord!  Stop living with your mind set on yourself!  Don't be a hindrance, just put your eyes on Jesus.

Alright, that's all.

Lara