Man, so much of this stuck out to me.
First:
"I will make your name great. I am the ONLY one who can make your name great! I will rebuild this broken world. I will build the city for which you long."
To me this translates into "I will drive boats this summer. I will shop of Costco. I will float Barneys. Just follow."
But God, I don't know if I can do it.
You don't have to do it. I do it. Just follow.
Recognizing that God could run all of Sonshine without us is humbling and also relieving. We know that he is the one pulling ski runs, he is the one tugging on staff members hearts, he is the one coordinating logistics. All we have to do is follow him. That is not to discredit how hard, scary and painful that can be. But it takes away the fear of failure- because He is the one in control. He sees the path, he knows the way, he is the way.
Second:
I feel like I am constantly at war with myself. Some days I am so fed up with constantly having to fight my sinful nature and tendencies that I just want to be done with this and in heaven already. But then he graciously reminds me of why I am here. To follow.
But God, don't you know what I've done?
Yes. And I still love you.
But what if I rebel again?
I still love you.
Why can't I just come to heaven already?
I am not finished with you yet. Follow me.
It is so hard and a daily battle to continue to follow him. But then I am reminded of the radical, scandalous love affair that I have with him and though I'm still trying to understand that whole thing, I know that he is good and he loves me.
Torrey - great post, it felt like i was reading Romans Ch 6-7! The longer you are at Sonshine and realize how much God does and how little we do is staggering. His goodness is endless! Happy Thanksgiving!
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