I probably replayed this section of the sermon twenty times. You want the gospel? Great! You're worthy, by having the mind of Christ Jesus. What is his mind? Others-centered. Self-giving. Servant-lifestyle.
I want to live in Gospel so bad and experience the joy that Paul (& Darrell) talk about over and over again. Yet I refuse to adapt to the customs and values and culture of the land! It reminds me of my barney training weekend, when I learned about Sonshine culture (which is really just Jesus culture) and felt this intense resistance to it. It made me realize how much of me does not naturally want to conform to that culture. But my BC challenged me, saying that that is exactly where Jesus wants us, identifying where we don't want to fit his culture and inviting him to change us.
Haha I thought I was done with that! But here I am again, feeling just like I did at my barney training weekend, identifying where I don't want to fit in Jesus' culture, and asking him to change me, to keep changing me. And the change only comes through relationship, so when I feel resistant to the change, I know something is off with the relationship. And I don't have to waste time figuring out who's fault it is, it's always mine. But God is still there, graceful as always, welcoming me back! The adventure never stops!
Your last line "God is still there welcoming me back" for me brought to mind the scene setting in the sermon. He says, "Picture a group of people gathered in a very large living room in someone’s house somewhere in noisy down town Philippi. He completes room set up description with, "A loaf of bread and a cup of wine set off to one side that are going to be partaken of later in the service."-- This scene reminds of your post ---God is there. Waiting for them. Welcoming them in the form of body broken and blood shed at the table. So intimate and immediate and necessary.
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