The Grace of God for the Complications of Family

What has stuck out to me the most from this sermon was DJ's statement in the beginning that societies begin to crumble when the family unit begins to crumble. At first I thought nothing of this statement, but it has stuck with me, urging me to consider the importance of family.  To foster family well requires incredible work! And often, there's so many habits, wounds, and love all running together just under the surface of a family that it seems impossible to work out all the complications of family dynamics. 

The sermon led me to gratitude for all that my parents have committed and sacrificed for my upbringing and it led me to pray, as Reid did, for the grace of God to show me and guide me into a deeper honoring of my parents. 

I have a lot of thoughts on this one, but I'm struggling to untwist them all into a coherent post! So that's all I'll say for now. I loved hearing all of your personal reflections on this one. I felt a bit like it was story time as I was catching up on posts! 

Thanks mom

This sermon really just caused me to reflect, like many of us, on the way my mom honored me growing up. I am thankful that through the inconvenience I was (and still am), she showed great concern as to my relationship with Jesus. Praise God she let me choose Youth group and church over sports practices and grades.

I also am thinking forward as to how I want to Honor my children one day. That the greatest father I can be to them is the one who pushes them to know Jesus. I loved DJ's quote that his own father wrote in his bible, "this book tells the story of a man who can do more for you than your dad."

Praise God that He gives us wisdom and insight into how to honor the most foundational relationships in our lives.

Thank God for Fried Chicken

Literally the second I finished listening to this sermon my dad called me. Kinda freaky. I'm going to tell y'all a quick story about him and Chick-fil-a.

So my dad has a small business where, in short, he helps companies hire hourly job workers and Chick-fil-a is one of his biggest customers. Every year he goes to their store owners conference and the one this year was last week. (Backstory my parents are totally not Christian and Chick-fil-a is totally Christian). My dad was telling me how every morning at the conference they "sang songs and listened to an encouraging talk." My aunt also happened to go with him this year, who is even more against religion which I thought was super ironic. But apparently they were both really moved by this conference and "met some of the most authentic and genuine people they have ever met." Later my dad sends me a video from the morning "songs" and its straight up a convention center with 5,000 people singing 10,000 reasons and my dad and aunt are just chilling in the middle of all of this.

Arisa and I (and many others) have been praying for my parents and sharing the gospel with them for a long time but there's been not much change. I just thought I would share this as an encouragement because I never thought Chick-fil-a would be the one to show my dad and aunt more of who Jesus is.  They are by no means followers of Christ now but it reminded me of God's greater plan for our lives and also the importance of the 5th commandment. I'm being called to honor and respect them - and hopefully some of Jesus's character will shine through that.

Also ironically that's the aunt who I'm going to be living with next year in LA. So even though she's not my mom, she's going to be pretty close to one soon.

DJ touched on something that I have struggled with when hearing this commandment. Do I stay obedient to my parents when they don't follow God? He reminded us that God is still above any parent. I can and will honor my parents but when they get offended by my pursuit of Jesus I kinda just have to be ok with that.

Prayers for my family - that they can know Christ and the freedom they can have in a relationship with Him. And praises for Chick-fil-a!

So much more than obedience

First off, I appreciated the way DJ described the grouping of the commandments as vertical (love God) and horizontal (love neighbor). And commandment five is the intersection of the two groups, woah!

I never really thought this was a commandment that I particularly struggled with. I've always been a rule follower, so obeying my parents was rarely difficult for me. But I think this was more from a place of not wanting to get in trouble than a place of wanting to honor them.

To honor means to make weighty. So honoring my parents means feeling the weight of their position. This year I feel like I'm starting to appreciate my parents in a new way since I am no longer living with them. I'm seeing just how much of a blessing they've been to my life and seriously, I wish I had realized that a long time ago. 

Honoring my parents also means feeling the weight of their needs. I thought it was so interesting how DJ mentioned that this includes covering up their faults. This isn't to say that they are perfect, but acknowledging they are human and instead of shaming them for their faults, still choosing to give them grace and honor them. And I think that's such a cool way to honor parents. 

Also hearing DJ talk about how parents can honor their children helped me to see how my parents have honored me and made me think about how to honor my future children. He mentioned letting children out of the child box, which is what my parents have done for me. I'm thankful for the way my relationship with my parents has become more of a friendship. Also very thankful to have parents that pushed me towards an independent dependence on Jesus as Lord, and support me in my decision to serve with Sonshine each summer.

Praying that I would be more aware of the blessing that my parents are in my life and that I would continue to find ways to honor them.

Crap Storm of a Week Rescued by the Uniquely Honorable Faith of a Child

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers last week for our family/Sarah.  

I don’t want to be a life-suck for you guys (your own personal trials and travails are more than enough right?) but man, the storm of crazy over here still hasn’t loosened its grip. 

Last week’s challenges ended with a tragic funeral.  Little did we know that within hours of this funeral we’d suffer an unexpected loss of our own at the Mann's house.  

Sarah, on a quick back and forth drive to Kari’s friends house noticed something convulsing in the road in her review mirror as she was haulin' up the road.  

She called me in a panic.  She said, I’m not sure what happened but I saw an animal convulsing in the road in my rear-view mirror.  I never hit anything.  Its like it dropped out of the sky.  I don’t know what it is.  I don't know how it got there.  I'm scared. 

Sarah wanted me to investigate but I was 30 minutes away so I couldn’t jump in to sort out the mystery/mess (literally- a mess).....minutes later Sarah gave me the grim report.

Unbeknownst to Sarah, our beloved cat Noel – personally my favorite pet in the family - went for the hell-ride of her life on the roof of the car before succumbing to injuries when she tried to leap off Sarah’s suburban after Sarah had hit near free way speeds ☹.  

Ironically, just days before I had told Sarah that I was concerned about Noel’s poor survival instincts and bad judgment around our vehicles. 

So as we’re picking up the pieces of that fiasco (literally), we get a call from Carol, our recluse neighbor who has no family or connections and as an extremely extreme recluse pretty much doesn’t leave her house.  Next thing you know, 80 year old carol is spending the night at our house cuz of a medical procedure (without fam or friends we’ve become pretty much all she’s got.)   

So in the wake of the funeral, here we are burying cats and having sleep overs for (likely) clinically diagnosed crazy people recovering from surgery......and (of course) their dog.....

--  Then to top it off, while all this is going on, I sent my kid Caleb out for a competitive baseball try out with (unbeknownst to me) a huge hole in his mit.  I’m an eighth of a mile away from the try out area where the parents have to sit.  All his try outs go fine except he drops all the fly balls (which he’s caught 1,000’s of times without dropping.)  

I can’t figure out what’s up with him not catching the ball and then I notice last night – HELLO! huge hole in his mit.  So now I have to live with the fact that I sabotaged my own kid's try out.  Kid was already somewhat nervous cuz the league is for an older age group of players.  He’s trying to “play up” with kids 2 years older than him and his dad sends him out to catch 200 foot fly balls with a giant gaping hole in his mit.   Who does that????

I’m not a fan of dark-hearted heavy metal (nor light hearted metal for that matter)  needless to say I can’t help but hear in my head as I write this, “I’m going down the rails on a crazy train!”  Fortunately I’m drowning out this melody with Daegle’s "You Say" cuz Karis and her buddy printed out the lyrics of that song this week and have been performing it with leading-Wednesday-Night-Program-Worship-During-Response-Time sincerity, seriousness, and passion all this week!!  

God bless Karis!  Not only has she been filling our house with Daegle worship,  she also single-handedly dug Noel (our road kill casualty) a grave and buried her with Caleb at Karis' side.  She snatched Noel out of the trash just before the garbage truck came.  I had no idea she did all that until Sarah just showed me the pics last night.  So, Karis rescued Noel from the trash truck, dug a hole near our favorite trees, buried her, and held a service for Noel with Caleb (our youngest.)

Karis - Graveside w Noel

Noel - The Day Before the.....Incident - (that's the hood of Sarah''s suburban by the way.)

Caleb's mit..... worst dad ever!!!!

Oh yeah. Just found this pic when harvesting the other ones... Inside of my truck after volunteering for a city event....add that to the list of  "what the h?????" this week.  Nothing taken or disturbed-- Just the violent being violent!!  How's that godless society working for you America? Oh my.

Sooooo - What does this all mean as I consider the message?

As far as I’m concerned, Karis, by honoring God (ongoing worship), honoring his creation (Noel), honoring passionate worship (Daegle), somehow honored our family and me personally in ways that were both transformative and life-giving. 

So, if Karis was legally permitted to consume fermented drink, I think I’d take her to Lodi Beer Company and raise a toast to honor her for the way that she made our house an outpost for the kingdom of God by announcing His kingdom naturally, discreetly, intuitively, and at times perhaps, unconsciously through honor in so many different ways and at so many different times. 

Paul says that we can wear the presence of Christ like a fragrance/perfume.  I think that’s what Darrell’s driving at when he talks about how the commandments are promises.  Through Christ, and the power of His spirit, honor perhaps, can at times be less of a commanded virtue and perhaps more of a fragrance or a “ness” or an impulse, a reflex, an instinct of the heart that has been captivated and inspired by power and majesty of Christ and His kingdom come. 

To put this post in one sentence ---  When I was derailed, Karis breathed life and hope into me through honor inspired by the impulse of love......

parenting 101

This sermon had me reflecting a lot on how much of an inconvenience I have been for my parents and also how inconvenienced I will be in the future as a parent. I can't help but be terrified for my future children and the generation that they will live in as well as the world around them. And on top of their surroundings, the most influential place they will be in is in their own home with their parents (aka me and future man). The only way I know best to prepare myself for such an inconvenience and battle between heaven and earth is to pray to God that he would equip me with the wisdom knowledge discernment sand understanding to parent in a way that is honorable. To listen to my children and respect them as unique individuals while also always presenting the gospel to them, so that they will never doubt or question what their parents believe. 

Also thankful for the reminder that one day I will be inconvenienced by my parents, and that is a necessary part of honoring them and developing my character. And maybe I'll get a few extra years out of it. Thanks DJ once again!

wow! honor

My mind is continually blown away as I listen to this sermon series how much content is present in these verses. I have grown up with these commandments, had them memorized, but the scripture is alive and the spirit is moving through it in new ways for me as I am listening and reading! Super good stuff from DJ!

Alrighty...so what am I thinking after that message on the 5th commandment? Let's see if we can break this down in words.

At one point, my mind started to envision what the future will look like. My Dad has always joked that his one request of his children is that we will take him to Disneyland and push him around the park when he is in a wheelchair and can no longer walk at "Wisenor theme park speed." This and anything else that I do for my Dad, I don't know if I could come close to serving and loving him the same way that he has loved me. I am honestly tearing up as I write this because I feel like I have taken my dad and mom for granted at times. It is crazy to think about how much they have done for me. They put me on a boat for the first time at 5 months old. They encouraged me in the faith and helped me to go on houseboats with Sonshine. My dad would teach me math every day after school in sixth grade. It isn't till recently and especially tonight that I realize just how special that relationship is. I hear my buddies here at school talk about the father son relationship that wasn't necessarily present for them and I just have to cherish and honor the relationship that I have. I just hope that I can continue and grow in the way that I honor my parents and love them and that I am able to model many ways that they raised me and loved me in the future and in that somehow do right by my parents.

The second thing that I thought was crazy was actually discussed earlier in the sermon, but the idea of their being two physical tablets. The vertical and the horizontal tablet with this commandment being the intersection of the two. At the end when DJ referenced the last verse of the OT "he will turn the hearts of the parents towards their children and the hearts of the children towards the parents." All I could think about was the way that Jesus became flesh and God in order to provide a way for our hearts to be reset on our parents.

I am still processing this and can't wait to read what y'all think about the sermon. I kinda just word splatted some stream of consciousness on the page. hope it makes some kind of sense. Love you all! sorry I missed blogging about the sermon last week...I'll get some more thoughts down if something comes to mind, but I kinda just sat with the idea that resting is a way to show God that He is our primary focus. 

Honoring Mom and Dad.......or is it Dad and Mom?

The Lord blessed me when I was born unto my Dad and Mom.  Some of you know my dad and have seen his quiet servant heart.  Only Steve (on this team) has been around long enough to remember my mom (Lara and Miriam were Barneys the year my mom passed away) and her loud servant heart! 

My parents made it rather easy to honor them because my parents first honored me, by setting me free to follow the risen Lord Jesus! 

I loved the sermon and how God has truly thought about every possible relationship at every possible stage of our mortality. 

Good thing DJ didn't talk to much about the in-laws!  😆

"Lord, give me grace to find new ways to honor my parents."

-Reid

Real Rest to Inspire Real Work

Beyond being a command for command’s sake, DJ was helping me to identify the gift that we have in the Sabbath.

In a sense, taking a Sabbath reminds us that we live in a spiritual as well as a material world. The “rat race-ness” we often get stuck in tethers us to the material world in such a way that work, tasks, and movement are flat-lined and uninspired. The Sabbath reminds us that all the ways we occupy our time find their meaning in the Lord and not in and of themselves.

DJ was helping me understand how taking a Sabbath to surrender and to commune with God allows our eyes to be restored to the One who gives meaning to all things. Our work is not an end in itself but points us back to the Creator.

And Steve was helping me connect to the reality that the Sabbath is a gift for us to remember the victory of Yahweh. To have the rest, especially when we are weary and downcast, to remember the battle is already won.

The Rat Race to nowhere

"One of the clearest indicators of what we value is what we spend our time on."

Choosing to remember the Sabbath is choosing to trust The Lord our God. It is believing that He will be faithful to us when we choose to remember the rhythm he created for us. It is choosing to trust that His ways are higher than mine and that He created me for rest and celebration with Him. 

In the Fall of 2017 through the beginning of 2018 I entered the rat race running 100 MPH towards the finish line. Reflecting upon that time I was clearly losing sight of what the Lord had in store for me and was running down a self destructive path of idolizing my career over everything. I estimate I was dedicating 70-80 hours per week to something that the Lord would gracefully call me out of later on. If time is a clear indicator of what we value, I was clearly valuing something over Jesus. I praise God everyday for revealing to me the Rat Race to nowhere that I was participating in and calling me to Worship him through rest.

This sermon gave me clearer insight as to what remembering the Sabbath means - Freedom from bondage and pain and a significantly deeper intimacy with God found in celebrating His great Son.

I pray that I could remember that Sabbath, that my hardened heart would see others worth coming from Jesus Himself and not found in their work, and that this Celebration with the Lord would draw each of us into greater and deeper intimacy with God. Amen.

Will I choose the Sabbath?

God created us with the need for a cycle of work and rest, 6+1. If we work too much we will get worn out, but if we don't work enough we will bore out. I know I've experienced the stress and exhaustion that comes from working too much, but also the boredom and restlessness that comes from too much rest. I think its so cool that God gave us this balance of both work and rest. Hard work is important, but it is not where our worth is found. And God gave us the Sabbath as a day to take a break from our work, fix our eyes on him, and go deeper.

To keep this commandment I have to desire and decide to keep the Sabbath. It must be a choice that I consciously make, its not something that we just stumble upon. So often, I go to church on Sundays because that is part of the routine of my week. But the fourth commandment is so much more than that. It is saying that whatever seems important in my life, is not more important than taking time to experience God's rest. Deciding to take a sabbath is deciding to trust and sacrifice because we want to experience this rest that is offered. From desiring and deciding to keep the sabbath holy we can then change what needs to be changed, seek the Lord's rest, and take the chance to celebrate all that God has done. 

GET WITH THE PROGRAM!!!!

A few points that stuck out to me in this weeks sermon:
1- obey the rhythm, because God has given us this day knowing that we were created to need it
2- God has something to give that can only be received through His Sabbatical rest
3- it costs to be a disciple

Just like for every other commandment, God has a gift for us with the Sabbath day. He is giving us a sneak peak of the mystery that is humanity. Everyone knows that if you are go go go everyday, eventually you will crash. Non believer or believer, we all know rest is essential. But the rest God gives is so much more intentional and compassionate. He uses this commandment to glorify Him in a way that becomes a huge sacrifice in our lives. To obey this rhythm is to simply say that God is worth my time. In our culture, to use Sabbath as a reason not to attend an event, game, or work meeting is almost unheard of. When DJ was explaining his opinion about his children's games on Sundays, I was almost in shock. How serious he takes his Sabbath day convicted me in a way I haven't felt in a while, simply due to the sacrifice it takes. But how similar that is to serving with Sonshine? We say no to summer vacations, beach trips, etc., but that also means we say yes to God's divine romantic way of life that He COMMANDS us to. It reminds me of the way Lara has previously explained her reasons for continuing to serve every summer; "JUST SAY YES!!!".

Redefining the Sabbath

I felt so convicted by this sermon.

School has always been something I have struggled with (in terms of being a false idol). It reminds me of something a youth leader told me over the summer: "If the devil doesn't make you bad, he will make you busy"

I love that he connected the 1st and the 4th commandment. Obeying the 4th commandment helps us obey the 1st. Giving myself time to rest in God's presence keeps my priorities in check - making sure school doesn't become a false god.

The 4th commandment sets us free from becoming "human doings" and lets us become "human beings" - so good.

I always thought that the Sabbath was something I wouldn't be able to do (as if it was a suggestion, ha) but this sermon completely changed my perspective and made me realize how crucial of a commandment it is. I loved what he said about if you're too busy for the Sabbath then at least one of the things you're doing isn't in the will of God. Like WHAT. It seems like a no-brainer but man have I missed the mark on that.

This reminded me of how often I try to find my worth in work.

In Him We Live, Move, and Have Our Being -- The Necessity of Sabbath -- #4

At 11:00 this morning my wife attended a funeral for Nicole.  

Nicole's brother Joe was in my youth group.  Joe was a sweet kid. Just addicted to bad choices.   His mom, Annette, would look at me with pain-ridden bewildered eyes  cuz  her son, in many ways like her ex husband, was, sadly, despite knowing so much about Jesus, choosing a path of rebellion and self-destruction.

Joe was candid with me about his choices.  He’d say, man, I kind want to do the right thing. I know I should.  I just like the rush (the prodigal son rush) of doing bad stuff.

Now, 20 plus years later, in his 30’s, Joe is homeless. A meth addict.  Feeling, I imagine,  in so many ways – spiritually, physically, emotionally – the consequences of choosing a prodigal lifestyle.  

So, Nicole is Joe’s little sister.  She torpedoed her own life in many of the same ways as Joe.  As part of Lodi’s homeless she and her boyfriend succumbed to smoke inhalation from a fire that was set inside an RV they had commandeered during the recent storms.   When we heard about how she died the feedback was it may have been an accident but more likely, based on what she’d recently said, it was suicide.  

Adding to Annette’s sorrow was that she just hours before this news had buried her father.  So Sarah, who through friends, still has some connection with Annette was on her way this morning to attend what’s been a tragic, heart wrenching devastating story about brokenness and loss for Annette. 

Just before attending this funeral today, Sarah dropped off coffee for a friend.  Our friend’s daughter is one of Karis' good buddies and so too (as you’d expect) their family has become friends of ours as well.  

Our friend’s daughter  has ridden in my car, been to our house, attended church with us. 

Well, this sweet Christian middle schooler out of the blue, almost like lightning, was struck with -- for me at least (and also for this Christian family) – an unbelievably severe, almost psychotic mental health crisis.  

So as Sarah is getting ready to head to this excruciatingly tragic funeral, she's standing outside of our friends’ house.  Great awesome Christian family.  Her friend was supposed to meet Sarah for coffee.  But couldn’t.  Because her daughter was having an episode.  

Sarah, as she stood in their driveway consoling Karis' friend's mom, could hear the cries of this recently radiant, sweet Godly 12 year old. Wailing through the walls and closed doors of the house. Cries of terror. Cries of hopelessness. Cries of misery. Abandonment. Despair.   

The family’s younger child has digestive issues.  They started when this out of blue mental health crisis started in the kid’s older sister.  

Again – as sweet and inspiring of a Christian family I know and their life is right now a  vicious, non-stop 24/7 hopeless, confusing, the-experts-are-strategizing-as-quickly-as-possible-what-to-do-next -brutal trial.  

So with that.... Sarah left for the funeral......

Given the  biographical events that presented themselves to Sarah and me this morning I latched on to the following statements from the sermon today ……

Jahweh has won a victory over brokenness. 
Rejoice over the greater salvation over death, evil, and sin. 
God has won the victory over everything that threatens to undo us. 

So glad that whatever happens on any given day -- "in Him we live, move and have our being" and "the light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it." 

#4 - Sabbatical Rhythm

This commandment, at this current stage of my life, might be the hardest and the easiest to live by. 

"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God."

There are times in the calendar year where it is easy to get caught up in the "rat race-ness" and there are times that it is easy to "remember the Sabbath day" and to "keep it Holy!"

Where I often go wrong is the legislation of my "remembering" and "keeping."  I must remember that keeping the law doesn't establish the relationship or is even the basis of the relationship.  God established the relationship before speaking the commandments and remembering the Sabbath and keeping it Holy draws me into deeper intimacy and greater joy. 

Remembering the Sabbath and keeping it Holy sets me free!  Free FROM addiction and oppression  and free FOR relationship and intimacy.  Which is ultimately what my heart desires...whether I realize it or not!



     

Hallelujah!

I love Ellie’s post and how she chose to connect knowing the name of Yahweh to knowing that He is more than the role of “god”. I mean, OF COURSE! If Yahweh were just “god”, a mere role, he would be interchangeable, measurable, quantifiable…but instead He is relational. He is uniquely Yahweh and gives us His name as a sign and symbol of His heart to be discovered by us!

That means that in every moment of our lives, there is something to be discovered about Yahweh, and it is never the exact same discovery. Always, He is speaking.

There is a certain self- forgetfulness that I find liberating when I am drawn to listening to who this Yahweh is above and beyond what He (as the role “god”) can do for me.

And yet, what He does also proclaims to glory and wonder of who He is!

Wowzers, to love Yahweh and not just to love “god” (the one who gets stuff done in my life) is a call into a deeper love of God.  Hallelujah!