Last summer on the water God definitely
revealed my fear of failure as being my biggest pothole and the thing that holds
me back from intimacy with Jesus the most. Since summer, I’ve seen that fear
manifest itself in so many different aspects of my life: school, relationships,
leadership, my future….the list goes on. Just like Abraham, I let my fear be
the thing that controls my emotions and my decisions and it is through that
fear that I try to engineer God’s call on my life. Instead of throwing myself
on God, I throw myself on my fear. I don’t directly disobey God, I just try to help
God out and make it so my fear and his plan can coexist…and DJ says that is
WORSE than blatant disobedience.
When I actually look at the effect that this
fear of failure has on my relationship with Jesus, the only thing I can think
of to combat the fear is recognizing the reality of the presence of God. DJ
says in our journey of faith we have to be realistic – which means recognizing
that reality is NOT confined to what we can see, hear, touch, and measure. Our
reality is a real and living God who has conquered fear and who wants us to trust
him fully and completely! Josh said it perfectly – “I fear because I lack
trust, but I lack trust because I fear.”
I love how DJ closes it with talking about Paul
in Romans 8. When I am absolutely CONVINCED that nothing can separate me from
the reality of the presence of the living God…that’s when I will stop throwing
myself on my fear and start trusting God completely.
Why isn't there a like or thumbs up button? Mols I identify with every word! My attempts to make his plans and my fear "coexist" is exactly how my life is running right now and it is worse because it feels worse! Throwing myself on Jesus instead of myself reminds me every time I read it, about the part in the trainee packet where it asks "Mckenzie, how close will you allow me to come to you? and I always say "at arms reach" but he says in my arms!!!......
ReplyDeleteI just love it! Thanks for sharing Molly!