FA... Things are changing

This is the time of year when life just seems to fly by. Interviews, eating, Christmas, eating,  traveling (no more time on the 5 please), and eating have consumed the past few weeks of my life. Megan and I have spent about 28-30 hours in the car traveling together this month. I have always cherished this time together. We have listened to a few of these Darrell Johnson sermons together and had some challenging conversations- good, but challenging.

Going south for Christmas often comes with questions from my family of "When are you going to move back? When are you going to get a real job?"  These questions often come with a dash of guilt and a bit of "We say it because we miss you."  While considering the move to Lodi in March 2012, Megan and I exercised functional theism. Looking back on the past two years, the Holy Spirit has convicted me of my functional atheism rather than functional theism.

When I first listened to DJ's FA, I was “running.”  I say “running” in quotation marks because… to be honest it is more like a brisk jog/walk.  DJ shared the 5 points of FA and my jaw was basically dragging on the ground.   I felt as though DJ was sharing about my life.  I know I am guilty of all of the marks of FA.  This literal "season" of holidays I exercised more FA than I'd like to admit.

The conviction that the Holy Spirit is bringing through this sermon had me realize the child-like equation I've been trying to use to solve my frustration. I’ve been frustrated recently (the past 2 years) that my relationship with God does not seem to come as naturally as in the past, the old things I had done (reading & prayer)  no longer work, I need to desire to go deeper. God hasn’t changed. Circumstances in my life have changed- getting married, moving, and a new job.  God has not changed.  

There are 3 quotes that have resonated with me this past week.

1. "I think I am trusting my life to the care of the One who loves me, and there I am reacting to disappointments and stress as though I had never heard the gospel."

2. "It is in times of deep personal pain and times of disappointment and fear that we are vulnerable to FA."

3. "When it comes to the disease of FA, identifying the symptoms is the cure."

This passage from Proverbs 3 has come to my mind a few times while listening.

My son, do not forget my teaching,
    but let your heart keep my commandments,
 for length of days and years of life
    and peace they will add to you.

Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you;
    bind them around your neck;
    write them on the tablet of your heart.
So you will find favor and good success
    in the sight of God and man.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
    and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
    and he will make straight your paths.
Be not wise in your own eyes;
    fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.
It will be healing to your flesh
    and refreshment to your bones.

Proverbs 3:1-8

Father, thank you! Thank you for revealing in me where FA is alive. Thank you for reminding me of the sacrifice of your Son these past few weeks, and what it should mean to me!