F.A.

I’m sitting here in the airport waiting to head back to Washington for school. With going to school in another state and being gone the majority of the summer on houseboats, winter break is always the longest period of time I’m at home with my family. And to be honest, it’s usually one of the hardest. Torrey and I were talking yesterday about how it feels like our lives our divided up by events that happen throughout the year. Basically, each quarter of school, with each school break in between, then summer. I find that instead of setting goals for my life as a whole, I set goals or work towards things based on the different period of the year or of my life, if that makes sense. I don’t think this is inherently a bad thing, but it can turn into a bad thing when I treat certain times as more or less valuable than others. F.A. was definitely very much alive and well during this winter break. Thoughts/excuses such as “I’m just with my family, it’s not a big deal” and “I’m not at school with my community so it’s harder at home” were often in my head.

DJ’s point about the disease of F.A. getting ahold of us when prayer is no longer the natural reflex of our hearts really hit me. “When we are too busy to take time and pray, perhaps the business is not the will of God.” It’s so easy to fill my life with things that are “good”. But I need more intimacy with Jesus and less busyness. Jesus, help me to take time and listen to where you are leading me. I know that I am not self-sufficient and that I desperately need you. Everyday my words, thoughts, and decisions need to reflect the fact that I believe and trust in a living God.