Week 7 - Why Do You Laugh?

When DJ said that the greatest promise God has made is that of a new heaven and a new Earth, I laughed (out loud) because I thought, 'You don't know my heart, DJ! The fact that God has promised to make me perfect is waaay more insane than his promise to make a new heaven and new earth.' Obviously that is not the case, but it's truly how I feel about the insanity that is God's promise of holiness in me. How can I, Torrey, EVER be made clean? God, don't you know what I have done? I know you do, but how are you so confident in your power? I know you have fulfilled this promise for others just like me, but I'm different. If you only could see the darkest parts of my mind, all of the filth and hatred.

And he does see it. And he still promises. And I know he will keep his promise. And there is nothing I can do about it! I can't try and manufacture a quicker result, I can't better my situation to bump me up on the waiting list, and I can't work on my own 'cleaning'. The faith that he calls for is absolutely crazy! But DJ hit it right on the head when he said, 'His promises are all you have to go on right now.' I can't make my own promises. I'll break them every time. I'm the most inconsistent person ever. So we have to trust his promises.

Basically, this plus FA was quite revealing for me. First, God not-so-subtly took me off my high horse and reminded me of how my heart is not naturally inclined to him and disgusting and gross, but then he follows it up with the promise of a heart of flesh. WHAT!? I LOVE YOU, JESUS! I don't always/ever understand you, follow you, trust you, believe you, but I love you! Thank you for your promises!