But saying Amen means letting go!

I am coming in late with the last two weeks of lessons but thinking over both of them together has led me to realize a deep uneasiness that I have about letting go control of my life, despite the great assurance that God provides.

The covenant between Abram and God hinged on God - He is the one who passed through the blood of the animals, He swore on His own self to fulfill His promises - and Abram's only part in the commitment was to say Amen.  Likewise, God came down to us in human form to be sacrificed as a new covenant - and now our job is just to say Amen like Abram did.  I should be relieved by this good news, shouldn't I?  But then why when I was listening to DJs sermon did I begin to feel afraid?
Ahh yes, because saying Amen means letting go.  The covenant does not depend on us or anything we can do, but it is a promise made by God as an assurance that He will provide.  In saying Amen, saying that I believe that God will provide, I have to let go of my desire to control my own life and provide for myself.  And even just the thought of not having control over my own life makes me uneasy.
Over the last few weeks I had been under so much pressure (mainly from myself) to work and study like crazy that I sacrificed time with community and especially time with God.  It was so hard to bring myself to take time away from working, studying, or sleeping to just spend a little time with God, and I am frustrated with myself now just thinking about it.  My thinking was that I didn't have time to spend with God because I was afraid that time spent with God wasn't helpful to my cause (getting the best grades possible).  It is crazy that I deemed these things more important than time spent with my Lord and Savior, the one who promises to provide everything I need and has constructed a plan for my life far greater then I could ever imagine.

I need to let go of control over my future. (because really who am I to think I can control that or know what it should look like)
I need to let go of needing to be the best. (I won't find fulfillment in my own ability)
I need to let go of my fear of the 'should haves'. (my FOMO is hurting my trust in God)

And I need to fix my eyes on Jesus because when I seek first the kingdom of God, everything else will be taken care of according to His plan. Amen.