Governed by Fear

One of the main 'themes' that God walked me through last summer was fear, and the way I had let it take me over. I completely saw myself in Abraham and his decision to run to Egypt. "We are hungry, they have plenty! It is the safe option, God is everywhere so he will be there too, I'm not directly disobeying. Look at how smart I will be by playing it safe and taking care of my family!"
God: "I didn't tell you you'd be safe"
For me this looks like: "God I don't know what's in that water. I don't know what other boaters are out there. So let me be cautious, let me think this through without you." or now, "It's safer for my ego and confidence to not talk to that person. Look at how smart I will be by staying comfortable!"
Again God says: "I didn't tell you'd be safe"

Praise God that he intervenes! I let fear govern my emotions and my thinking- especially out on the water, where I feel most unsafe. But in reality, that is not being realistic or practical. Things are not as they seem. Reality means throwing yourself completely on the One who is in charge of reality. I am so glad that my God is in action- constantly intervening in my fear and reminding me, "Replace it with faith."

I am scared to see how God continues to teach me this. I never would have thought that going to Texas for school would be so hard. I never would have thought that driving last summer would be so hard. I never knew how much I truly threw myself on myself. But I know that he is in control. Like Katy, just writing that makes me guess if I truly believe it. And like Reid, I know I will continue to prostitute myself to other gods (wow that is so frustrating to write). But we have hope, because his grace is endless!