Week 5 - Identity and Fixing My Eyes

[feel free to listen to this while reading]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yd2we03Sy4I

I feel like God pushed two different points through this message to me.
1. Tithes and Offerings = opportunity for spiritual rigor!
2. Fix my eyes e-eyes, on YOU-OO-OO!

Number One:
I haven't really tackled tithing yet personally. I have always thought that if I am responsible, wise, but am not afraid to spend money on other people, then I am being spiritually 'wise'. I will give a large amount to my church at school every once and a while, buy lunch for people etc, but have never come before God prayerfully and submitted everything to him. To be honest, my pride is taking a hit just writing that because I tend to have a pretty inflated view of myself.

[Side Note: Last night, though, my dad and I were reading a book by Tim Keller called The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, where TK explains how Paul didn't allow his ego to be inflated, he allowed it to be filled. Paul doesn't let failures and sins latch onto his identity any more than he lets successes and accomplishments. He is fatally indifferent, except for the fact that he allows Christ to fill every ounce of his being. I feel like this is just the beginning of the reshaping of my identity. Christ, fill every ounce of me!]

Back to tithing. So yes, realizing that that is not an area of my life that I have not relinquished control of hit me pretty hard. We give to set our spirits free! Why do I cling onto what is not even mine? Why do I convince myself over and over again that my security is found in what I can gather for myself? You are the one in charge, God, my security is in you! Help me live that out.

Number Two:
I couldn't help but think of how I learned about fixing my eyes on Christ last summer. My eyes tend to be in places that make sense, but definitely are not on Christ. My eyes are on Reid or other admin, my eyes are on my dad, my eyes are on our KLIFE staff, my eyes are on my friends and the advice they have to offer. All of these things make sense: they are wise people, who love Jesus and me, but ultimately, they are not Jesus. Nothing should substitute me sitting at the feet of the one who created, loved, is loving, and will love me.

As DJ said 'When your vision is filled with the sight of the Living God, the temporal is no longer 'the best'.' When my gaze in on the Creator of the Universe, vision is clear. That does not necessarily mean that decisions are easy or I automatically know what to do in every situation, but I can rest with confidence that Christ is in the center.

So to wrap it up, God started unveiling a major part of my life that as I become more independent, is important to continually submit back to him. I'm also reminded that things are not as they seem. In order to allow God to clarify my vision, I've got to have my eyes fixed on him.

I sit here just reminded that this adventure is never over. We might have seasons of ease and comfortability, but God is never done with us. And thank goodness! Thank you that you are not done with me, God!

Merry Christmas, y'all! :) hehe