Trust in Celebration

Hey friends - so this post was originally going to be an off-topic prayer request type post, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how well it actually connects to what we've been talking about and going through. (Still a prayer request though.)

This weekend is graduation (woohoo!), and with that comes so many opportunities to trust God - and so many areas of my life where I (still) feel anxious and fearful. And yes, some of those include the future, where I will be this summer, etc. But more than that situation right now is the celebration of this weekend. A weekend that is supposed to be full of joy and happiness and all I can focus on is the anxiety I feel.

For those who aren't familiar with my story, basically what you need to know is that I come from a broken family. And this weekend, everyone is going to be together, in the same place, doing the same things. (And by everyone, I just mean my mom and dad and brother...it's not a lot of people). As for the current family dynamic - my brother and mom don't often (or at all) speak to my dad.

I have been looking forward to this weekend for 4 1/2 years, I am so excited to be done with school. But I so badly don't want this weekend to get here. I don't want the awkwardness, the potential drama that comes with having my mom and dad at the same dinner table. I don't want the tension between my dad and my brother. I don't want to be the mediator for everyone. I am battling more anxiety over this weekend than I think I felt when I was job searching (and that was pretty tough). I'm scared of what may happen. I can already feel myself losing a sense of celebration of this weekend to prepare myself for the bad situations that may occur.

(Here comes the tie in to trust:) I am not trusting that God can reign in my life this weekend. I am not trusting that God can redeem relationships (even if just for a weekend). I am not trusting that God can bring light and joy to this weekend. Ultimately, I'm not keeping the main thing, the main thing.

As much as I am SOO ready to graduate, I am not at all ready for this weekend. Anxiety and fear.

But still I hear Jesus' call of "Follow me. Come and see."



If you guys could be lifting up this weekend in prayer for me, that would be awesome. I'll be praying for interviews and wishing I could be there!